Organization

Today, I'm spending the hours I have before work to sort through some of the things I have to do before school starts. That list includes going through my CAS hours (Community, Action, Service), uploading them onto Managebac, and trying to plan out how to finish them in the next year. I also have to start my summer reading, my summer journal, and my Extended Essay, which is on the topic of Film. I'll be talking about the mise-en-scene of two films - Wizard of Oz and West Side Story. So I actually ordered those movies today off of amazon. They should be here on Saturday. I need to go over my outline for the paper and start printing out resources.

All of this stresses me out. I know this year is going to go really fast, but I'm scared of it all the same. I wish it was just over already. I don't want to have to go through any of this, really. I'd rather be starting a new chapter of my life, moving into college and having that freedom and knowing I'm actually doing something relevant for the rest of my life instead of going through the motions of my last year in high school. I'm ready to be out.

But I hope it will at least be fun. I hope I'll make good memories that I can carry with me. These are nowhere near the best years of my life, but they aren't the worst, either. I'm seventeen. This is kind of my last year of real childhood. And while I have a lot of responsibilities, I'm still young, and I have to remember that, too. And not fixate on growing up too fast.

I feel like I should still be six years old and riding bikes around the neighborhood instead of reading Pilgrim at Tinker Creek and trying to figure out how to sweet talk a Pilates instructor at the gym into signing off on a Pilates class if I were to take it to finish up my CAS hours. I still need about 40. I can get some from drama club still. I don't know how many I can get before they're due, though. I've broken down my projects from last year - like an elementary school drama club that I volunteered for, and my drama club as well, both being in the shows and staying late to paint for them for a few weeks. I have my 50 hours for Service, so that's out of the way. And I have about 30 each for the other two. With all the time I spend at the gym, it just really doesn't seem practical to go about getting action another way if it's possible to get credit for those hours. Especially when my physical activity really HAS had an impact on my lifestyle this summer, and on my way of thinking and my perception of myself.