This has been a very stressful week for me and my family. And most of it has to do with the ongoing car search.
Let me give you a bit of backstory here.
I have been driving since the day I turned fifteen. I was at the DMV the morning of my birthday, ready to go. Since that day, I have been wanting a car of my own. Just the idea of freedom was appealing to me back then.
Now, it's become a necessity.
I go to a school that's half an hour away from my house because I'm in a magnet program. I live with my mom, and we only have one car between us. I have school and work to go to, and my mom has a full-time job. Last year, we made it work, because I only worked one night during the school week. On the days that I didn't work, or have drama club, or my mom or my best friend's mom (who we carpool with) couldn't pick me up, I rode the bus home. No big deal.
This year, things are going to change a little bit. I no longer am able to ride the bus because I didn't register in May for a seat. I now work two nights during the school week, and my shifts are an hour earlier.
I didn't register for a seat and I picked up extra shifts because I believed I would have a car by my senior year.
At least, that's what I was told.
See, when I started working last year, I made a deal with my parents.If I saved $1000 by this summer, and made good grades during the school year while maintaining my job and my extracurriculars, they would get me a car by the time school started. I made good on my end. I finished the year with a 3.5 GPA, As and Bs, and more than $1000 in my savings account. I expected to spend this summer car shopping.
My parents told both my brother and I that we would have cars by the time we went back to school. My brother is a sophomore in college at a school five hours away from my house. His college town has immaculately planned bus routes, and he can take a bus or ride his bike to any of his classes in about five minutes. He does not have a job, nor has he ever had one. He wouldn't have a way to pay for his own gas in Jacksonville, so he would have to use my mom's credit card for gas. He has never expressed an interest in driving - he didn't even get his license until he was almost 18 - and has never expressed a need for a car except for coming home and going back to school during school breaks.
I didn't care about any of that. If we both had cars, I would be happy. My parents didn't start car shopping until about mid-July because my dad had a lot of false hope about the used car market.
They had specific parameters when they first started out. They wanted two '01-'05 Hondas or Toyota Corollas with less than 100,000 miles and around $5K-$6K. They quickly found out that that wouldn't happen. The used car market is extremely difficult to navigate right now, because after the tsunami in Japan, car production slowed and people began buying more used cars.
They changed their searches a little, but it became clear that we weren't going to have much luck.
Honestly, when it came down to it, I thought I would be the priority. I cannot, with practicality in mind, share a car with my mom. It just doesn't work with our schedules. I actually have places to go and cannot walk, bike, or ride a bus to my destinations. (People die on their bikes almost every day in my town, which is full of senior citizen neighborhoods of people who don't pay attention on the road.) Not only do I need one more, but I have earned it. I've spent my whole summer working. I go to school and I go to work and I'm successful. My brother, on the other hand, has spent the whole summer in his room, on his computer.
So imagine my surprise on Monday when my dad made an off-hand comment like "Sorry, honey, we just gotta get Jake a car before he gets back to school." And imagine my surprise on Tuesday when my brother pulled up in an '07 Ford Fusion of his very own. After yet another failed car search for me, because the car I went to look at with my mom had 131K miles on it.
I kind of knew, I guess. I knew that, when they started to get discouraged, they picked one of us to focus on. One of us was the priority. And it wasn't me.
And it's been like that for my entire life.
My brother always outranks me. My brother comes first. My brother is more important.
It's only important to keep promises to my brother.
And now there's a week left of summer, and honestly, I don't think my parents are going to be in any hurry to fulfill their promise to me. My mom has told me over and over again that she'd rather put me in something "safe and reliable" and that she'll wait for as long as it takes before that car shows up. But they found something for my brother without too much fuss, and it just feels like this is all futile.
I'm mad. I'm hurt. And it's not just about the stupid car. Even though that really sucks, because all I've talked about for two years is wanting a car. I have not asked for a single gift for Christmas or my birthday because I told my parents to save their money for my car. But that's not the thing that really bothers me. It's that my brother will ALWAYS beat me out, and that no matter how much I work to earn something, no matter how much I DESERVE it, my brother will get it first by doing nothing but sitting on his ass.
It sucks.
